My daily gratitude for:
Well, I can’t even begin the words for the gratitude I feel tonight. I could mention specific things like being tired because I have been around good friends for a couple days or because I got to play or disc golf or even because I went skydiving today! I could share that I am grateful for the Lucas family, who I got to share lunch with, or guy time with Stephen and Ben tonight.
I could say that I am grateful for talking to my brother and his kids and how we are planning to meet up sometime in the next two weeks. I’m so grateful for it. Or how I got to be encouraged by my parents for the skydiving and congratulated after, and how that was meaningful. Or even that I got to honor my late grandfather who had always wanted to skydive. Those are so meaningful to me.
I feel grateful for the hot weather, the comforting words of friends, the bizarre amount of support, getting to talk to a lady I like every day, and more. But I feel more than grateful for it all.
In spite of the most awful year of my life, I am having one of my best years of my life. And its amazing to be a part of.
You see, when I boarded the plane I got 15 minutes to think and wonder and reflect before I jumped. What a great metaphor for my life!?! It was a window out into what my gratitude really reflects and how gratitude creates courage. Sometimes, life is very hard, very scary, and very much about jumping off and out into the unknown that requires trust and commitment to yourself in no other way. Sometimes, grief and hurt can lock us up, or rather, lock me up. But in jumping out, causing deep pangs in my heart and stomach, and opening my eyes, I adjust then to the large world I can only fully see when you jump out. All of my grief wanted to take the easy way out, and just say no to jumping out. But this is the gift of that experience: knowing I am that kind of guy, with that kind of resilience, who says yes, who jumps because for no other reason than I trust that there is something good, something perhaps even better, if I face the fear of jumping out and falling. Trust, experience, jump.
Yes, I am very grateful. Grateful because I have great friends and finding more along the journey. Grateful because my family loves me to the heights and depths and their love is sustaining. Grateful because I get to explore myself in so many ways. Grateful to face hard and scary, and jump into it. Grateful because I am not alone, because God is with me, my son Ryan is with me, and others are with me. Grateful because no matter how much bad has been experienced, there has been so much good. And if I am willing to jump out, I am grateful because of the incredible good there will be.