Children. In some ways, as Dickens would have it, is the best of times and the worst of times. There are moments that sweet, heart-full, beautiful and over the moon joyful moments when your child first walks or tries to say Amen or develops their own hilarious personality. But alas, there are also moments that are heart wrenching, stress laden, sleepless, and quite senseless as you watch your child melt down over the smallest things or climbing up ovens or waking twenty times in the night or trying to load the washer again with every piece of cloth within a two mile radius.
Joyful and exhausting. Meaningful and stressful. Worth it and questionable sometimes (just kidding…well…maybe). But being a parent has been overall amazing and such a great blessing for me. It’s a blessing because there is something about this quote below that is true:
“Having a baby is to embrace a future you can’t control.”
– Parent from a podcast (will update when I find out exact one)
It is a sheer blessing in its unpredictability, it’s ability to matchless in moments unplanned and uncontrolled. I am a more laid back, easy going person so having a lack of control doesn’t bother me too much. But what I did not expect is the power in that moment that I did not or could not expect. There is so much power and allure to that moment my child shrieks in joy at some random act, or their unbelievably awesome hug, or just playing with him with a hose or bat. I never know what will come, but I couldn’t plan better if I tried.
Sure, embracing anything uncontrolled means I have days that I don’t play disc golf, or never make it to work because Ryan or Aiden are sick. Sure, it means there are times where I don’t get what I want. Those all happen and more.
But this is the catch. If I really do my homework on myself, what I really want is not to embrace a future I can’t control, but to embrace a present full of possibility. It’s not control I want, but possibility. This is just me, so I can’t speak for others. But I thrive knowing and hoping that any moment, any day or year, can have more than enough beauty, more than enough laughs, more than enough wildness, more than enough awesomeness to outweigh everything else and even make me forget about the other stuff. It takes courage to embrace a future you can’t plan, and fortitude to accept a life with little control. But it takes love embrace each moment with my kids. That is worth it.
(P.S. I believe this is analogous to our journey of faith in Christ too!)